September, 2002

The End.

~#~

DARKNESS...AND MERCY NEVER SEEN

DARKNESS AND TIME...FALLING TOGETHER

I SEE A FROG...AS RED AS BLOOD

I SEE A CHILD AND I SEE A KITTEN AND I SEE A TEAR DROP

I AM SO TIRED OF THIS

NOT ME...NOT YOU...AND SO MUCH SADNESS

A BIBLE IN THE RED BOX...

A GUN IN THE...GRASS...BLUE METAL

AND A RED ROSE PEDAL

HAPPY...BLUE...RAGE!

A SPIDER IN A CAGE

WE...DON'T SEE WHAT YOU SEE

PLEASE IF YOU WILL CRY...FOR ME

RICK SIHLER

~#~

Why?
Holly Christian

Why do you talk about me as if you know about me?

Why do you thing that you can make me feel like dirt?

Is it because you think your so much better then everyone else?

Well what makes you think that you can't be treated the way you are to others?

You can't control how or what other people do,

Just because you don't approve.

The only thing that you can do to other people is,

Make them feel how they don't want to feel.

~#~

Images
deepshree

I seek your images in the

Turbulence of the sea…

Your love

In the tumult of the rain…

Your caress

In the dusk

Your love

In the dawn….

I seek you

In the warmth of the sun.

~#~

Sun Blaze

Nicole M. Stevenson

As the sun blazes in the sky

So does the thought of why

I ended up alone in shy

Afraid of different emotions

So many sorted notions

I was confused but not anymore

About why you couldn't love

Simply because you were not ready

I knew you were still a baby

A man attached to his mother

Still unable to love another

I was left out in the cold

Another woman who never been told

Surely don't fall for a mama's boy

Infinitely your like his toy

Although they will play with you for a little while

Sometimes we make bad decisions

I have to live with those choices

~#~

I rest for awhile on the crack of sanity,

time flows smoothly through my scare

filled

veins.

A lonely

blackness

drips into my eyes,

making an ooze that moves with

pain,

my fingers become blood.

My hair feels like rusted

down

wire.

My lips run through a desert of

loneliness,

searching for you.

The stars fall from there place,

I hope to catch one.

To find a miracle, to find a

home.

Nathan James Reid

~#~

Helen Betty
Larry Bowden

Helen Betty, I love you

You left your home in pursuit of a dream

How could you've known life would be mean

You took a chance, though you were so young

With a light in your heart, you hoped would burn on

The storm clouds gathered and blocked the day

Your precious life was taken away

But the wind and the spirit will carry your name

And the world will know of the injustice and shame

Helen Betty, I love you

Through all the tears and through all the pain

Our love for you, will never change

Yet at times, we wonder what could have been

The lives you would have touched

The loved you would have given

You would come back a teacher one day

But you've touched my heart so far away

I will never turn away from you

I will put into words so all may know

That your name will never die

And your star will light up the sky

I had a dream I entered the land

Allowed by his grace for that was his plan

And you came over and took my hand

And led me to the one so I'll understand

And then I faced you filled with new life

I gazed in your eyes they were shinning so bright

You said my prayer had been answered today

Then I spoke the words I've been longing to say

Helen Betty, I love you

And your name will not fade away

And your love is in me to stay

Helen Betty, I love you

~#~

SCATTERING DREAMS

FROM THE DESIRES OF LOVELY TALES,

OUR EYES CAPTURE A VIVID DREAM,T HE DREAM IS WOVEN WHILE THE LIDS,

ARE CLOSED AND WHILE THE LIDS ARE OPEN.,

I TOO DREAMED OF LOVE ,MY DREAMS WERE AS BEAUTIFUL AS A GLASS PAINT-

ING,

BUT THE ALL MIGHTY THREW A BUCKET FULL OF COLD ICE ON IT,

THE RAINBOW COLOURS WERE WASHED AWAY,

AND EACH PIECE WAS AS PRECIOUS TO ME AS A CHILD TO HIS MOTHER BUT,

THE MIGHTY HAND SNATCHED THE CHILD FROM THE MOTHER,

AND LEFT THE MOTHER TO CRY IN DESPAIR,

WHY DID HE DO THIS ?

WHY HE MADE MY EYES BLEED FROM THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTION

SHREYOSHI

~#~

ETERNAL FLAME

Alan G.T. Mason

There an Eternal Flame burning in my heart,

Your love for me was all the fuel it needed,

As long as it burns we will never part,

For so long as our love lasts, believe it.

The Flame is burning so very bright,

It’s changing darkness into light,

Where ere I walk with you tonight,

I know my world’s gonna be all right.

There is a sense I am in a race,

I feel at times I can’t keep pace,

The flame burns bright and is getting stronger,

My heart I know is growing fonder.

My love for you grows even stronger,

As the time were apart gets ever longer,

And the flame burns on never waning,

And so my love does this endless waiting.

The time is nigh; the hour’s is close,

I’ll soon be standing in your land,

To see your hair and touch your face,

To hold you close my NA Friend.

~#~

Inside

Locked inside a crazy mind

Reality is hard to find

Dreams fall into nightmares hand

Every breath we die again

Dark and light seem the same

Day and night stay insane

Blackest veil clouds the brain

Evermore demons remain

So saving grace, we are alone

All false hopes turn to stone

At every turn a scary face

No end to this maddening place

Sedition plans the souls erase

Perdition waits for cold embrace

Screams and cries fill the rooms

Rage spells out immortal doom

Hiding inside this endless pain

Psychosis paints awful stains

Trapped in here with no relief

We are not allowed to speak

Darkheart 7/2002

~#~

Love Is Forbidden
Jonathan

I've touched the hem of perfection

Her voice an enchanting song

I've tasted her forbidden lips

Now things have gone all wrong

I have done something labeled taboo

Now the price to pay has risen

I have crossed the line of prohibited pleasure

Now I rot in my agonizing prison

These emotions of constant torment

This life of endless pain

This conscience of mine keeps me chained

Two inches from becoming insane

I'm haunted now by memories of love

The images flash through my head

Of a time and place where things were right

But now the love is dead

I move on now, I continue my travel

To seek another to love

But deep inside I realize it's useless

Cause it can never be what it once was

~#~

STICKS AND STONES

Ericka Moore

You've wounded me so severe that my mind will never be clear

Those nights I cried myself to sleep...

My brain was wreaking havoc to in return make you weep

You've got it all... yeah, that's what people think

When dark creeps around, that untouchable image begins to sink

You took my spirit, my confidence, and all that was pure

But your love, your support, your acceptance, could have simply been the cure

So why should I love you, because God says so...

When you hurt me so bad, my thoughts could kill you with one blow

It's okay...I'm a big girl...I made it on through

It was the pain, the struggle, and the suffering that made me... stronger than you

~#~

I'm so angry...
Antonia Huber

I'm so angry when you lie to me and I hate it when you deny it to me. You

get me so angry when you walk away and tell me i'm in your way. I feel like

you hate me! I thought you loved me well it doesn't show. My mother said not to marry you she said that I wouldn't love you but i do... i do love you.

I'm so angry when you yell at me it feels like your abusing me. I can't love you anymore or be with you i know and i hope this makes you angry because then you could feel the way i feel so angry....

~#~

Death in my corner
Beth

how can i love you and hate you? my love for you is fading, i am fading. back into the shadows i creep, i crawl. sit and fade away, i die and disappear unnoticed, i rot and decay unseen, no one blinks an eye at me as i cry, as i fall away from it all, as i sit in my corner and die concealed by my own shadow of hate and torment i hate you now, no love remains, my heart fell into the shadows, so did i. now i fade, now i die in my shadowed corner of death.

~#~

mummy
H

my eyes are filling up,

but i don't know why,

all day, everyday, when i see your face i cry.

a picture is the only way,

i could ever remember you,

the memories stored away are to faded to be true.

where did you go?

are you happy where you are?

amongst the soft moon and bold stars.

are you ever coming back?,

please say its so,

i never meant to hurt you, to make you go.

daddy says your gone,

and you won't be coming home,

why'd you have to leave me and daddy on our own?.

but no worries mummy,

because daddy says we'll cope,

he secretly stashed away some sugar coated hope.

my eyes have stopped crying,

but now i realize why they had,

because when you died mummy, me and daddy were sad.

~#~

Love, so dant, so foolish and still we lack the need to love.

Once, I have loved, and again I have been played like a fool.

Why do we play this game, why do we love... why do we??

After days of lying in bed crying away the hurt i wonder again and

again why do we play this game...

Josh

~#~

You took my heart away

When I saw you on that sunny day

I walked over and sat next to you

I looked into your eyes and they were crystal blue

I have to tell you how I feel

If I don't my wounds will never heal

I want you next to me

The bond between us will always be

This must be gods plan

I know inside you understand

Age keeps me from romance

But when I get the chance

I'll be yours

Jeremy Little

~#~

The key to my heart was once lost.

My heart was told that my true and only love would receive it.

They would unlock my heart, keep it and cherish it.

Through my whole life I have been looking for the one whom holds the key.

I think others have it and I open up.

They have never had it and my heart just gets locked down more.

My heart is locked up so much its scared it won’t find its way out.

It tries and try’s again but is always locked back down.

Locked down so tightly one day it might stop beating.

If my heart stops beating before my true love unlocks it, it will be a lost and lonely heart forever.

Don’t let my heart stop beating and left lonely forever.

Take the very key you have in position and unlock my terrified heart.

When my heart is free it will be shaky and scared of any feelings it may want to express.

Just remember you are my true and only love, so my heart will recognize you and hold on.

My heart will hold on so tight that it may scare your heart away.

Please don’t shake it, pull it, hurt it, abuse it or take advantage of my heart because it will lock back up and die with out knowing true love and appreciation.

Hurt my heart and not only will my heart leave you, our lives will have nothing to do with each other.

You hold the key to my very heart.

Except how it reacts or hand the key back to me and move on or realize you are whom my heart says you are and open my heart and take what has been yours forever.

Tina Le Roux

~#~

Struggle
Mohammad Ali Shaikh

It’s not over, I waited and it’s not over.

I want it to be over and it’s not over.

When will it be over, is it ever over?

When will it be over? It’s never over.

~#~

BUT NOW YOU ARE GONE

Vinnie Alarcon

When i first saw your face,

I fell in love with you

but now you are gone,

and I don't know what to do,

Whenever I see your picture,

it makes me want to cry

but now your are gone

and I ask God why,

Whenever I think of you

I remember when we touched

but now you are gone

and I miss you so much

Whenever i thought about you

you were the perfect girl for me

but now you are gone

and with you is where I want to be

Whenever I see you again

my dream would have came true

but now you are here

and I will never be without you

~#~

TORN
ANN ROUSE

My laughter dwindles into tears, my heart is torn apart. My feelings crushed my bleeding heart, demolished under the continuous monstrosity of your demeaning words. What life have i when you degrade me. Insult my departing soul. What life have i when you torment me, my fleeting spirit cries. Why don't you comprehend all love departed destroyed by the crushing roller coaster of your disastrous life. Hypocrited live better so much better than you or I.

~#~

OCEAN OF LOVE

By: Ciarra Briseno

Love is like an ocean

Flowing like a tide

What lovers share together

And neither dare to hide

Forever it will last

Enchanting those it finds

And when it comes together

It crashes when it binds

As long as there is love

Together we cannot be denied

It will take us unaware

On a special magic ride

We can not make it happen

It will come on it's own will

As natural as you breathe

The emotions we will feel

~#~

FOREVER YOURS

BY GENEVA TINDALL

You saw me one day, but did not run.

I miss you when you are gone.

I saw the look in your eyes that night.

I miss you when you are gone.

You love me truly, I don't know why.

I miss you when you are gone.

I love you more, you know not why.

You miss me when I am gone.

~#~

MARCH 13TH
Nick DeSorbo

Chaos indifference

childish journey gift

destination light

~#~

MY FRIEND TURQUOISE

KELLY MARIE BAXTER

I have a friend

Around the corner

Yet miles away

I miss her a lot

She moved a while ago

I have a friend

She is a true friend

I miss her a lot

New friends become old friends

Old friends are lost new friends are gained

Around the corner

Yet miles away

She visits from time to time

We hang out when we can

She is a true friend

I miss her a lot

New friends become old friends

Old friends are lost new friends are gained

She will remain in my hart

Till the day I die

~#~

STUPID, AM I....?
tonette

i was left here, with non of me

i hoped for, the things that's not meant to be

i cried for, everything i know nothing

i laugh for, the one who's crazy that's me...

i trusted, and givin all of me

i surrendered and forsaken the things i believe was ougth to be

i loved you, but never loved at all

i believed you but never trusted them all

now i raise the flag

and set free the white dove

and pleaded but you never heard

i left and you never cared

just what am i supposed to be?

one part of you fling supposed to be?

then what the hell i'm feeling for?

when you didn't loved me after all...

~#~

Its so dark,

All around so much blackness,

Emptiness,

Loneliness,

But I like this feeling.

But I don't like the cover,

Its always there.

I try to lift it,

And it falls.

I claw at it,

But its like thick silk.

When I think its going to lift,

It presses down harder,

It chokes me.

I'm drowning slowly in a pool of black,

No matter how hard I try,

My breath becomes weaker,

My heart becomes slower.

I'm trapped,

I continue to drown,

In my dark pool of me.

Nikki

~#~

APHRODITE'S

Sara Barrett

A golden pearl

my shining curse.

And golden curls

so full of lust.

Sparkling pools,

two oceans filled.

A darkness of envy.

Her lips a scarlet

veil.

Beauty so obscene;

never such a glance.

Dancing skin; a cradle

for desire.

Colored cream- her

hands of silk.

Violating the ribbon

of romance.

~#~

ONE WORD

Maribel

How is it our lives connected so

you saw in me a dream unlived

a space as yet untouched by love

i can't believe how deep that love runs

did it come from inside of me

or am i just returning it to you

through time and distance our love has grown

at times i wonder how i lived without it

your warmth and tenderness

in a second center me

i felt my heart begin to mend

when you wiped my tears away

with gentle kisses sweet

and when i look into your eyes

i forget every single word except one:

.......LOVE ..............

~#~

What have we done by gleeful friend.

A mansion prepared for kiss and kin.

A holy kiss both now and then. what next, propose a feat for them.

A mountain tall moved by the pen.

A star unleased; an oceans end.

A birth of four or maybe ten.

The greatest work is who began

Bilal C Muhammad

~#~

Pretender
Nora Kate

Stuck in a foreign yet familiar world

I can but pretend to be

Outgoing fun and popular

Anything but me

A mask I wear, a mask to hide

This tear-stained face of mine

When I speak to friends of years

It’s just a well-worn line

When alone, I’m free, I need not act

No one to judge my words

Yet I’m still sad when I voice my thoughts

For they are not really heard

Misunderstood, yet not outcast

I fit, but just not quite

I have the clothes, the friends, the words

It still does not feel right

Caught in something I understand

I scuttle to deceive

And wait, wait for the joyful day

On which I take my leave

It will almost surely be quite hard

To find a place I fit

Yet not as hard as staying here

A memory I’ll soon forget

For all my life, my deepest wish

To be accepted, to belong

And though I try the best I can

It someone feels so wrong

The clothes to wear, the things to say

These things I know quite well

But continuing this phony life

Has become a living hell

Still I go on, attempting to be

Something which I’m not

I shall never tell, though I probably should

Of the battle I fight and have fought

My life will continue, it grinds away

And no one will ever see past

The girl with a smile, my mask so well made

For I know not how long it must last

One day, this I know, my guise will just fall

Disintegrate, collapse from decay

My soul laid wide open for all near to see

But I linger, hidden, till that day.

~#~

DISCARDED JUNK
megz

stone walls have fences,

but people are watching.

thank god i'm me,

now no one can see.

i'm not a disgrace,

i'm nobody.

i'm not pretty,

i'm nothing.

i only break rules,

'cause i can't be bothered.

the only reason i score high

'cause it happens naturally.

so really being me doesn't matter,

at least now that i'm a nobody.

i'm not a champion.

i'm dull.

i leech.

i'm you.

i'm everyone,

being me doesn't work anymore.

i like to fit in,

for being different.

i love your praise,

for being bad.

before i was an alien,

nobody was after me.

before i was an alien,

everyone was problem free.

~#~

THE LAST WATERING HOLE

--by Thomas M. Catterson

A pane of glass

to view from within.

A draft of brew,

a shot of booze;

the ball and chain

unattached to my stool.

My excuse to watch,

slaver, drool.

The conversation was

woeful among fools.

A pane of glass

to view from without.

I see myself;

I pray for a drought.

A pane of glass.

The pain of glass.

~#~

-- My Friendly Star --
John Collin

I look upon the heavens and see

A star that's shining just for me.

I ponder of my life so far,

And so, too, does my friendly star.

How lonely 'tis to shine so bright

And brilliantly ev'ry night,

But with a billion stars around,

No other friendly star is found.

Each star, alone within his place,

Shines only in a tiny space.

And though my friendly star shines bright,

He's barely noticed in the night.

So though my star may disappear,

This is not something I should fear.

For star and man alike, it's best,

Perhaps, to end the loneliness.

~#~

KNOWING THE ADDICT

Linda H. Cole

Drug addiction, physical infliction

Unnecessary stitches

And no visual witness

To save or not to save?

Who's to blame?

You're afraid... I'm afraid.

The next step to where?

Nobody cared

No one can understand from

Just too much pain to bare

Witness to survival

To life, we're all entitled

Break out of that cycle

No longer being lied to

We all try to come to some type of epiphany

There has to be an enemy

Not able to be released easily

Scrambling inside to find something to believe

Don't know where they've been

The way out is within

~#~

Death comes

But once in a lifetime;

Rekindled are the ever glowing

Embers of life,

As you are slowly forgotten.

To die is to lose nothing,

But to gain

Everything.

LinZ

~#~

Love
Kimberly Sadlier

Love so strong

that no one could replace it

Love so deep

that no ocean could overcome it

Love so incredible

that it'd be wanted by everyone

Love so intense

that no affair could beat it

We long for such love as this

It may seem like a fairy tale

But it can be found

You just have to search for it.........

~#~

THE BLACK ROSE

Holly Helton

The black rose.

A special, misunderstood,

Wrongly classified, gift.

Dark and mysterious

The black rose sits.

Alone and unique

Surrounded by

Crimson roses the

The Black rose stands out

Different and strange

To onlookers the

The Black rose is alone.

Beautiful and rewarding

The black rose is frightened.

Unknown and giving,

The black rose is

Not the only one.

Just as the black rose,

Love too is dark, mysterious,

And rewarding.

For love is a power

So strong that only

One with a pure heart

Can share it.

That is why love

Is feared so.

Love is

A special, misunderstood,

Wrongly classified, gift.

~#~

LOVE HER WHEN HER MIND GROWS.
ISAAC K. AMPEM-DAAKO

Hey young woman, daughter of vanity.

Her hairs and hue, a hare

Hasty. Hate her in her hey-days

Though dainty: inflicts pain and in her

No pangs; runs from arm to arm

Conscious of her forget-me-not that blossoms

Blooms bounteously, a bouquet but a bogey

Wastes her energies on her appearance

She shall be blandished and hoaxed

Picked for domestic decoration

Treated like an object, discarded when disused.

Oh yes, the half moon is beauteous

But the full moon glows with grandeur

She shines, brightens in the midst of stars

In a darkly night when the sun is no more

So is the flower that grows to maturity

Her seeds rejuvenate her youthful hue

When the dew sits in the early morn.

~#~

My Mystery

Jaclyn Peter

they took my fate

they put it in a headlock and

they sealed my fate

somewhere inside the world

in which they live

because i failed

they constantly ignore me and

they told me i lost my mind but

i believe i rule the world

I'm singing out my revolution song

like nothing else matters

and you can pitch your gold against my soul

but i bet you get shattered

and there's a million houses in my heart

it wont be long

till i solve my mystery

~#~

WHEN DARKNESS FALLS

A.C. CHAMBERS

As the sun goes down, I stare at the wall

Trapped in an invisible cell

As the last ray of light disappears, I fall

Pretending everything is well

As the door opens, I stay still

Hoping the intruder will go away

As light trickles into the darkness, I keep my iron will

Praying this can wait until another day

As a hand touches my shoulder, I realize I am not ready to deal

Denial has become my best friend

As silence endures, nothing seems real

Fear is fighting this battle to the bitter end

I soon come to the realization that there is no longer anywhere to hide

Whether I want to admit it or not, there is no longer an invisible line

I now have to change to the other side

My secret world is no longer mine

Now as darkness falls, I step outside into the night

Embracing the chilly air

When darkness falls, I keep my goals in sight

Without a single care

~#~

Free
Tasha Miller

When the river finds the sea

then you'll know that I'll be free

Free from pain that reaches the sky

that's in my heart until I die

Dying of a broken heart

after you took it and ripped it apart

Apart from my chest is where it is

because it's me you never miss

Missing you everyday

because I never got to say

I know the feeling of true love

that was sent from up above

Shining down on you and me

because I know we're meant to be

And when I'm free of all this pain

I will have your love to gain

~#~

WANT TO DIE
Raghab Nepal

World is making me crazy

I've started getting dizzy

I can see the darkness in my eyes.

World has turned for me elegiac

I've stopped being energetic

Let me the flame of life

I want to die

I need no heaven, I can share hell.

I've lived very long, let me bid farewell

Life is just a game and I'm a player,

I've played my part I can't play it

forever.

Please don't push me off,

I wouldn't stay in this world,

Because of this world's hate,

I'm regretting my birth.

Hope the day will surely come

When I find myself lying in my tomb.

I want to die..

~#~

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